


A Vorbarra, a Naismith, and a Stark Walk into a Bar

by Ysabetwordsmith



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Vorkosigan Saga - Lois McMaster Bujold
Genre: Angst, Arc Reactor, Families of Choice, Family, Family Secrets, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Intrigue, Multiplicity/Plurality, Politics, Reunions, Safe Haven, Safety, Somebody's gonna get it, Team, Team Dynamics, Teamwork, Trust, Trust Issues, Unconventional Families, flangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-14
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-12 08:12:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1183948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ysabetwordsmith/pseuds/Ysabetwordsmith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miles and Tony have a Plan. Gregor is a little dubious about the advisability of this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Make This Worth My Time

**Author's Note:**

> This story contains references to past captivity and other violations. The current environment is supportive.
> 
> Read the [original Dreamwidth post](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/9409724.html).

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles and Tony have a Plan. Gregor is a little dubious about the advisability of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is a stand-alone. It was inspired by [a comment](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/9371098.html?thread=15309274#cmt15309274) from Dreamwidth user Shrewreader and a few other people, which got me thinking about how the Avengers would fit into the Vorkosigan universe, and what mayhem would emerge starting with three men in a bar ...

It was a terrible, seedy little bar at the spaceport but it offered a discreet meeting place for people who had reason to pass unseen. People minded their own business in such establishments. Gregor Vorbarra slid into the corner booth opposite Miles Naismith and Tony Stark. He tried to ignore the fact that his trousers were sticking to the wooden bench.  
"Gentlemen," said Gregor, "you had better make this worth my time."

Miles gave him a wild grin -- swiftly echoed by Tony -- and said, "Trust me."

Gregor got a sinking feeling that he'd wind up explaining this to Countess Vorkosigan later, and that it wouldn't go any better than the time he'd had to explain what happened to her grandmother's vase.

"The Admiral tells me that we have some enemies in common, and that you're in the mood for a revolution," Tony said. "He has hired us with this in mind, pending your approval. You have a certain reputation for favoring mercenaries with ... exceptional qualities."

Gregor raised one elegant eyebrow and turned to Miles. "Cetaganda? Or Komarran insurrectionists again? Because our respective ladies might object to that last, politics notwithstanding."

"Better," Miles said. "Jackson's Whole."

"You have my undivided attention."

"See now, Tony and I met by way of Dr. Rowan. We had a similar heart condition," Miles said, "only Tony solved his differently." Miles looked at Tony.

Tony unsealed his expensive crimson shirt. A wink of blue starfire peeked out, framed by corrugated scars. He sealed the shirt back up, hiding everything.

"You're wearing a plasma engine in your chest," Gregor observed.

Tony shrugged. "It keeps the lights on," he said. "Though it does tend to attract ... pests."

"Which brings us to this meeting," Miles said. "It's in everyone's best interest if Jackson's Whole ceases to be a player on the galactic stage."

"I'm afraid I'll need a little more information before I can trust a Stark," Gregor said. "No offense to your friend, Miles, but I do know my military history."

Tony gave him a thin smile. "I thought you might say that, considering my father's role in developing Beta Colony's famous weapons and defense technology," he said. "What you don't know about your military history is how much of that was influenced by a Jackson's Whole expatriate by the name of Obadiah Stane. He's responsible for this, too, by the way." Tony's fingernails clicked against his modified chest. Then he slid a packet of actual papers across the table.

Gregor leafed through them, growing more impressed -- and alarmed -- as he read. "It seems that I may already owe you a favor for having dispensed with this threat before he delivered your latest inventions to the Cetagandans."

"Whatever," Tony said blithely. "I'm thinking of something more subtle this time, though." He glanced at Miles. "Let me just say that I'm a _huge_ fan of how you two cooked off an entire collection of House Bharaputra's biological samples, thus saving my people the trouble of doing it."


	2. This Reunion Has Waited Long Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Miles introduce some of their entourage. Things get interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Read the [original post on Dreamwidth](http://ysabetwordsmith.dreamwidth.org/9410955.html).

Gregor gave Tony a sharp look, which sharpened even further when Miles murmured back, "Three, but who's counting?"

"Ah yes, your remarkable Sergeant Taura," said Tony. "Did you convince her to come today?"

"She's part of our security detail. What about yours?" Miles said.

"They're standing guard outside with Rogers," said Tony.

"Miles," growled Gregor, "I request and require an explanation for why this man seems to know about your collective identities."

"I didn't tell him. Tony just looked at me and ... noticed," Miles said.

"You remind me of some friends," Tony said to him, "though it's not nearly as dramatic when you shift as when they do. At first I thought you might be related. Turns out not, but you know someone who is, and I think this reunion has waited long enough."

"Agreed," Miles said with a firm nod.

"Collapse your short perimeters," Gregor ordered. "I want to keep a close eye on the proceedings."

"Sergeant Taura, on me," said Miles. Moments later, a tall burly woman shouldered her way through the jumble of patrons to the quiet corner booth. Tony simply nodded, unfazed by her muzzled face. Interesting.

"Bruce, it's safe to come in now; there's someone here you want to see," said Tony. Gregor was looking for another bodyguard, and almost missed the short scruffy man who ghosted through the room. Sergeant Taura was far more alert.

 _"Deuce!"_ she cried, flinging herself on him like an exuberant dog. Her mass and momentum should have knocked him down, but did not. Even more interesting. "I thought you were dead."

"Yeah, that's what they wanted everyone to think," he said bitterly. "I _wish."_

Tony cleared his throat. "Thought we were over that, science brother," he said.

"Sorry. Old news," Bruce said. He was still plastered against Taura.

"So you're one of the other super-soldiers," Gregor mused, looking at Bruce. "You don't look like it."

The little man hid behind his massive sister. Taura glared at Gregor, baring her teeth. "Deuce can pass for human. Two is the one who can't, but you won't be meeting him today. And if you scare them or make them cry, I will tell Countess Vorkosigan that you were being cruel to genetically disadvantaged persons."

Gregor lifted his hands in surrender. "I meant no offense," he said quickly. "I was merely ... surprised by the contrast. What's so special about him?"

"That's for them to tell you if they wish," Tony said.

"I'm listening," Gregor said. "Taura? Bruce?"

"All right," Taura said with a nod. "I want two things from you before I trust you with my brothers."

How had she suddenly gained the upper hand in this negotiation? Well, she had learned from the best. Gregor curled the tips of his fingers in invitation. "Go ahead," he said.

"First: these men are not soldiers, and not to be treated as such under any circumstances," said Taura.

"That must have been quite a disappointment to your maker," Gregor said. "Agreed."

Taura smiled. Bruce peeled himself loose from her back and stepped cautiously, hopefully forward to stand beside her. "You now have a brilliant scientist who likes you. Give him a lab and get out of his way; you won't regret it," Taura said. "Second: no matter what happens, they are free persons, to enjoy the full protection of law and not to be deprived of their freedom without due process."

"You're bidding high," Gregor said.

Taura crossed her arms. "They are worth it."

"Very well. Agreed," Gregor said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Multiplicity](http://www.karitas.net/blackbirds/layman/whatis.html) is a theme in both the Vorkosigan Saga and the Avengers.  Canonically, Miles' brother Mark is a plural person, while Bruce-and-Hulk sometimes are, sometimes aren't.  I'm also writing Miles Vorkosigan-and-Admiral Naismith as plural, which is canonically vague.
> 
> In _[The Avengers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers_\(2012_film\)),_   Bruce Banner [mentions a suicide attempt](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0848228/quotes) ("I got low ... I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth, and the Other Guy spit it out.") which gets very little attention in the movie, but seems like a solid part of his character.  So I'm writing this Bruce with a history of [suicidal thoughts](http://www.get.gg/suicidal.htm) too.


	3. Any Other Surprises?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce explains the Other Guy to Gregor, who is intrigued. And then Tony pulls one last surprise out of his sleeve ...

"We can't die," Bruce said softly. "We had hoped to be able to average things out with my other siblings, so that we could all live something approaching a normal life, but we thought we were the only survivor. When Tony heard from Miles that someone else was still alive, we had to come see." He glanced at Gregor through messy brown bangs. "Give us a safe place to work, and whatever we discover is yours to share. We, uh, have some ideas for making matters uncomfortable in Jackson's Whole, too."

"Very promising," Gregor said. "And the reason people ... mmm, sometimes _mistake_ you for soldiers?"

Bruce shuffled nervously in place. "We are strongest," he said. "When we change to fight, we get bigger and tougher ... uh, and green."

"Tough enough to punch holes in a pirate ship that was trying to hold them captive," Tony murmured.

"I seem to have gotten a bargain," Gregor said.

Taura's brother -- brothers? -- had a remarkably sweet smile. "Bruce Banner, at your service," he said, holding out a hand. "The, uh, Other Guy sends his greetings too." He held out a second hand.

Gregor had seen weirder things in galactic politics. He shook both hands without hesitation. Then he turned back to Tony and Miles. "Do you have any other surprises I should know about?"

"Just one," Tony said. He gave no other sign, but suddenly there was another person standing beside the booth, as powerfully built as Sergeant Taura but with perfect human features. "I'd like you to meet Steve Rogers. As you can well imagine, he has a score to settle with certain interests back at Jackson's Whole."

"You have _the original Captain Jackson_ on your payroll, and you didn't see fit to inform me before this?" Gregor said to Miles.

_"Our_ payroll, and it's a new development," Miles said. "Tony and I only found him recently. I wanted to make sure everyone would actually be willing and able to show up today before I said anything."

"But ... _how?"_ Gregor said.

"Cryo is a wonderful thing, even very early experimental cryo," Miles said.

"I want to help," Steve said. "I want to make sure that Jackson's Whole can't hurt anyone else. They've taken technology that was meant to help people, and used it to cause a great deal of harm instead."

Well, he would know all about that. Steve Rogers had been the first test subject for a line of research that had promised to cure many of humanity's ills. But the true formula had been lost along with Dr. Erskine in one of the Whole's infamous House wars. Attempts to recreate it had proven less than successful, hence the switch to even less conscionable solutions such as clone transplants.

Gregor realized that Admiral Naismith had brought him a treasure trove of allies who, while not Barrayaran, had ironclad reasons to support this venture of mutual interest. His family's greatest strength _had_ always lain in personnel.  
"I am sufficiently intrigued to hear your strategy regarding the nullification of Jackson's Whole," said Gregor.

Miles and Tony grinned at each other, then launched into an explanation that involved much waving of hands and lightning-fast speech. There was something about new plasma engine applications, a wormhole monkeywrench, some deliciously incriminating blackmail holograms from Cetaganda, requests for assorted hard-to-get equipment, an incoherent but intriguing explanation about gamma rays and galactic travel, a love letter from a general's daughter, and the seeds of a clone rebellion abetted by Betan interests.

"So that's the plan," Tony concluded. "All we need is your approval, Emperor Vorbarra."

"What is your decision, my liege?" Miles murmured, all deference for once.

Gregor laced his fingers together and allowed a smile to spread across his face. "Gentlemen," he said, "let's see what happens."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve Rogers originally appears in _[Captain America](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_America:_The_First_Avenger)_. As with Bruce, I've shifted him to Jackson's Whole because that's where most of the wild-ass human experimentation has happened.
> 
> [Cryonics](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryonics) is the science of preserving life (more or less) at very low temperatures. It appears in the Vorkosigan 'verse, and seemed like a good match for Steve's ice-nap.

**Author's Note:**

> [The Vorkosigan Saga](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vorkosigan_Saga) is a science fiction series. Miles Naismith Vorkosigan stars in many of the books. The story title references his role as Admiral Naismith, a galactic mercenary, rather than as Lord Vorkosigan.
> 
> [Iron Man](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Man) is a Marvel superhero who appeared several movies, of which [the original _Iron Man_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iron_Man_\(2008_film\)) gave some inspiration for this story.
> 
>  _[The Avengers](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers_\(2012_film\))_ is another movie that contributes to some character relationships; here Tony Stark is running the Avengers as a galactic mercenary unit.
> 
> [Jackson's Whole](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jackson's_Whole) is a planet in the Vorkosigan universe, populated by a not-very-nice culture.


End file.
